Walking down the street yesterday and someone behind me kicks, steps or trips over Archie.

First Sign of Stupidity: Don’t bump into stuff in front of you.

Then this person weaves around me to my left (Archie was walking on my right) — big butt, tight jeans, big 80’s hair, loud pattern shirt, talking on the cell phone.

And that’s when I overheard her say into the phone:

“Oh my God! You’re, like, Paris Hilton with a ring!”

Second, Third and Fourth Signs of Stupidity: “OMG” “like” “Paris Hilton”

I responded by saying, rather loudly, “Stupid fucking whore,” but to no avail.

Oblivious wins again.

PS: Archie was not injured in the incident. He may be short, but he’s like a cement block.