Loot

February 26, 2007

It’s a big day when it’s your birthday and on February 16th, Archie turned one year old. (Happy birthday, buddy!)

Beyond all the hoopla of finally reaching the year one milestone, what really concerns me is the amount of stuff the dog — the dog — received for his birthday. And not from his owners!

Here’s the breakdown:

  • Brown corduroy jacket with wool lining (and pockets)
  • Red and gold silk Chinese jacket with wool lining
  • Black, goose down winter jacket — reversible
  • Orange fleece pullover with reflector strap on neck
  • Birthday cake squeak toy (his favorite)
  • Hand colored paper for chewing

And if that wasn’t enough, we, his owners, had to actually get him some things as well:

  • Tennis ball — red and blue with white stars
  • Whizzle stick — foot long version
  • Whizzle stick — two foot long version
  • Liver treats

The dog is spoiled.

(And it’s a testament to his effect on people.)

Scary Stuff

January 4, 2007

Okay, so Archie has complained that I haven’t posted enough about him, so here it goes:

The other day I actually watched Archie scare himself with his own flatulence.

French Bulldogs (and bulldogs in general) are known to have bad gas and Archie is no different. Depending on his diet, he can drop silent bombs that clear crowded theaters.

The best is when we’re on the subway and he farts. Then I get looks of horror as fellow passengers assume it was me. Screaming, “It was the dog!” doesn’t seem to convince them. Odd and horrible smells aren’t unusual on the NYC subway, but Archie seems to be capable of shocking even the most hardened transit riders.

But I digress. So there we are, Archie and I, just sitting and looking at each other. He rips out a loud fart and then, to my amazement, his ears perk up and he actually looks back at his ass. As if he didn’t realize he was capable of such a sound. As if he didn’t realize he had an ass.

Quite funny (albeit stinky).

[Note: If you don’t believe me regarding Frenchie gas, read this.]

Private Moments In Public

December 8, 2006

There are times in our lives when we find our most private moments occurring in public. It can be embarrassing for us as well as those around. No one plans this to happen and most would certainly try to avoid it, but circumstances and emotions are rarely on fixed schedules. There are certain things our society doesn’t want to admit to — that people are scared, angry, sick or in this case — sad.

I got on the train with Archie and there was a middle-aged woman sitting down across from us looking vrey, very sad. She was dressed in modest business attire with her bag and purse on her lap.

Now, when we get on the train, there is a general staring and amusement at Archie poking his head out of his bag — as well as my carrying him. People smile and nudge their friends and family to point us out. The adventurous ask questions or pet Archie.

This woman was no different. While we we far enough away that she couldn’t talk with us, I did see her notice Archie and smile a little.

Of course, as the train barreled along, she relapsed back into her despair and soon began quietly crying. She looked miserable — face red, eyes welled up and just downright sad. Overall, just a bad day and another person in the crowded subway, right?

Not quite. As people shuffled on and off the train at each stop, Archie and I moved further into the car and soon found ourselves standing next to the woman.

To my surprise, she came out of her depression and offered us her seat. Now, Archie and I decline these offers as it’s more of a pain to situate our selves in a seat than to just keep standing.

But I was impressed that someone so obviously distraught could think of others at the same time.

It also re-enforced my understanding of the power of pets to help people. Archie makes people smile all the time.

I hope the woman feels better.

Angel or Devil?

November 1, 2006

Angel or Devil

Why in the hell do humans find the need to anthropomorphize animals? More specifically, why did they put me in this stupid costume?

Naturally, I took it out on them by being a right bastard all day yesterday and crapping on the floor this morning. Take that, beeyotch! I’m the alpha dog now!

–Archie

Mondays Suck

October 30, 2006

Nap time
Damn human walked me 40 blocks on Saturday and then another 40 blocks on Sunday. What the hell does he think I am? A freaking greyhound?