If You Can’t Fix It With A Screwdriver…

June 25, 2007

…Try A Hammer.

I’ve been saying this trusty phrase for years to express my frustration with inanimate objects as well as my lack of skill in generally fixing anything. I seem to lack not only skill but the patience to focus on the job, the steps, the necessary equipment, etc.

I generally believe a good old whack can often solve a simple problem.

And last night, my beloved wife, in a fit of absolute frustration and desperation, proved this maxim to be quite true.

Here’s the scene: Her iPod (her SECOND iPod, the first one died and was replaced by Apple — always buy the AppleCare warranty people) died unexpectedly. As she attempted to revive it through the various methods outlined on the Apple web site, she naturally grew more and more irate with the iPod’s unresponsiveness.

I should digress at this point to note that she is notoriously unlucky with electronic equipment of any sort. At this point, we’re almost convinced that she gives off dangerous EMF levels that tend to fry electronic circuits. So when her second iPod died, it did not send me into a rage. I took it as par for the course and figured we’ve move on to iPod number three.

But back to the story: As she grew angry at the stupid MP3 player, Apple, the internet and subsequently me (calmly petting Archie and sipping scotch in ambivalence), she began to take drastic measures.

First up, shaking the iPod furiously. No effect. It was still dead.

She returned to the web for advice, unplugged, plugged, restarted, on, off, etc. No luck at all.

It was at this point that she broke and resorted to banging the iPod against the wall — fairly hard — about 10 times.

And lo and behold, the iPod came back to life! Like electronic CPR, she had restarted it’s little heart through violent concussion.

Now, I’m still betting on us getting her a third iPod, but for the time being, I have a happy wife with a working iPod.

And proof of the old saying I’ve been repeating for years: “If you can’t fix it with a screwdriver, try a hammer.”